A Father’s Role In Conception And Pregnancy

Fathers role during pregnancy

Pregnancy is one of the biggest milestones in a couple’s lives and a truly life-changing experience. While it’s often the expecting moms who are the focus of attention, being the ones carrying the baby, the fathers-to-be do have a very crucial role to play as well. Just like the moms-to-be, the would-be dads are also filled with a kaleidoscope of emotions, ranging from anxiety and fear to excitement, pride and joy. It’s that seismic shift from being a man to becoming a parent, which is going to change your life forever.

By staying actively involved in the entire lifecycle of pregnancy, childbirth and baby-care, fathers can hugely support their partners, helping them cope better with the burden of anxiety and fear, expectation and responsibilities. In fact, studies have revealed that paternal involvement has a significant “impact on pregnancy and infant outcomes”. Increased involvement of fathers during pregnancy helps in lowering the risk of preterm birth, low birth weight and fetal growth restriction. This aspect gains even more importance if you are going through assisted reproduction (IVF). The role and responsibility of the father-to-be increases manifold, as he has to deal with his own associated anxieties as well as be there as a biggest support for his partner. 

How can a to-be father help his partner?

Celebrate this extraordinary life moment and stay engaged through the entire cycle. Here are some broad tips:

# Prepare yourself emotionally: Like the mom, the dad also gets 9 months to prepare himself emotionally to welcome the baby. This period is best utilized by staying totally engaged and participating in all the activities relating to the pregnancy. This should include accompanying the partner to obstetrician or fertility doctor visits, watching ultrasounds of the baby together, shopping for the baby, reading up on parenting and in general, preparing yourself for impending fatherhood.

# Work in tandem: It is important to plan things together and share responsibilities spontaneously rather than assuming that household chores are best left to the mom. You should discuss and plan for the changes that the baby will bring to your lives. Yes, there will be increased responsibilities, but those will come wrapped in countless moments of pure joy that make everything worthwhile. So stay positive and help your partner remain happy as well. Make the necessary adjustments with a sense of pride and joy so that the mom-to-be feels reassured and relaxed.

# Open up about your concerns: Of course, looking forward to the baby’s arrival is always an exciting prospect for both the parents. However, it often comes accompanied with money worries and apprehensions about the future. Discuss your worries frankly and threadbare with your wife/partner, so that the weight is lessened and you get clarity of thought, and are able to relax. You can also speak to your friends/relations who have recently experienced fatherhood.

# Look after your health: Concentrate on staying healthy together by eating healthy, exercising regularly and making sure the expecting mom doesn’t miss any scheduled doctor visit.

# Chip in with chores: Since the mom already has so much on her plate, look out for avenues to offer help with household chores, fetching things from the market or preparing for the baby in various ways. You can always make a difference. So make that effort.

# Plan for childbirth: This in itself will take up a lot of your bandwidth. There are a clutch of critical decisions to make. There will be plenty of questions in your mind as well as the mom’s. So, you should discuss the birthing plan in detail with your doctor, attend birthing classes in tandem and make sure you are covered on all fronts for the big moment.

# Be there for her: At times, all she needs is you by her side to offer emotional support and reassurance. The mother goes through draining periods of anxiety and your mere presence can provide succor in so many of those foggy moments. Even a simple massage to relieve cramps in her legs in the middle of the night or her backaches can go a long way in relaxing her.

# Prepare for role of new father: The first few days after childbirth might see severe mood swings and/or postnatal blues in the mother, which are perfectly normal. Be there by her side and handhold her through these difficult phases. But don’t forget that you may need help to, particularly if you and your partner have gone through one or more IVF cycles to attain a much-waited for parenthood. Don’t hesitate to talk to your doctor or counselor whenever you feel the need. 

3rd Trimester: Get Ready To Welcome Your Baby!

3rd Trimester

As you step into the 7th month of your pregnancy, you enter the months categorised as the 3rd trimester. You are nearing your delivery time, your baby is almost fully developed, and now you have to start preparing for not just the delivery itself, but also welcoming a new member into your family, who is going to take up the majority of your time and attention. 

The frequency of your pre-natal check-ups will increase

Instead of your usual monthly visits, you may be asked to go for check-ups every two weeks. You will be assessed for:

  • Any unusual symptoms or discomfort that you may be facing
  • Your weight and blood pressure
  • Urine test will be conducted to test for albumin and glucose as these may be indicative of conditions like preeclampsia and gestational diabetes
  • Growth and development of the baby
  • The position of the baby
  • Foetal heartbeat
  • Height of the fundus – top of the uterus

Changes you may experience

The pregnancy experience is usually individualistic. And this is no different during the 3rd trimester. While some women have to deal with acute discomfort, including difficulty in taking deep breaths and sleeping, others are able to breeze through without any problem. Your body is constantly changing as your baby is growing inside you. Some things you can expect include:

  • Feel increasingly hot – this is because your baby is generating heat inside you and this is turn increases the temperature of your skin
  • The frequency of urination is likely to increase as the pressure on your bladder increases
  • The foetus pressing on the main vein to the heart can result in your blood pressure dipping
  • Fluid retention in your hands, ankles and face may cause some swelling
  • Due to increased hormone stimulation, coarse hair may begin growing on your arms, legs and face
  • You are likely to experience leg cramps
  • You may experience Braxton-hicks contractions (false labour)
  • Stretch marks may appear on your thighs and breast
  • Colostrum (a fluid that nourishes your baby) may start leaking from your breasts
  • You skin on the stomach may feel itchy as it become dry and stretches
  • Skin pigmentation on your face is may become more visible
  • Your sexual drive may decrease
  • Constipation and indigestion are two issues that can be a large part of the discomfort you face
  • White-coloured vaginal discharge may become a common occurrence
  • Back pain may become a chronic problem
  • If you have Hemorrhoids or varicose veins, the problem is likely to intensify   

Meanwhile your baby is growing fast!

Your child is now almost completely developed and getting ready to function independently. The foetus begins to move and position its head downwards preparing for delivery. During the 3rd trimester, the developments in your baby include:

  • Your baby can see and hear
  • At the beginning of this trimester, the baby’s brain is still developing and lungs & kidneys still maturing
  • Normally by 36th week, the baby’s head will drop into the pelvic area, preparing for the delivery
  • The skull bones remain soft to enable it to easily pass through the birth canal 
  • The baby can suck his/her thumbs and can cry
  • By weeks 38-40, the fine hair on the baby’s body and limbs begins to disappear
  • By now the lungs have matured completely as the baby is getting ready to breathe on its own
  • The baby is covered with a protective creamy coating called vernix 

As you inch towards the completion of your nine months, some of you may experience a plethora of discomforts, while the lucky ones may not face much difficulty. As your delivery date comes nearer, it is common to experience anxiety and a degree of fear, particularly if it is your first pregnancy. But remember, you have people who care for you around you, so share your feelings with them, seek help whenever required and keep in touch with your doctor. Staying positive is often the key to a healthy delivery.